06 March 2011

FOR THE OLD FOLKS

Why did they quit making Bab-o? I think that is the way that it was spelled. Or Bon-Ami? Now, Bon-Ami was a quick and easy fix on honing the cylinders in your car engine. You just let a vacuum hose suck in about a tablespoon full and a lot of times, if you had oil leaking around your rings, it would fix that, or at least slow it down. Now I'm not saying that it was good for all of the rest of the parts in your engine, but it was good for that.

Another thing that I really loved as a kid was Root Beer Koolaid. What, did kids start hating Root Beer? What about Black Jack gum? It was wonderful! It made the inside of your mouth and lips black but the taste was worth it.

This blog is not large enough to list all of the candy bars that are no longer with us. 5th Avenue. Idaho Spud. Which I never would even try by the way because I thought that it was made from a potato. Look. I think that it was made from taffy. Heath Bars. I thought they also were kind of nasty. Neccos. They might still make these but I haven't seen any for years. Some more stuff from more recent years are Pop Rocks and Fizzies. To my knowledge they no longer exist.

How about Log Cabin syrup? Yes, I know, they still make the syrup. But it used to come in a little metal cabin so when it was empty your Mom could wash it out and you could use it to play with for a little house. Dixie Cups was another great thing that contained about a half of a cup of vanilla ice cream and came with a little flat wooden spoon that usually split in half before you had eaten all of your ice cream.

Cloves Lifesavers? They still make peppermint and wintergreen. Both flavors that happen to suck ass in my book, so why no cloves? Or butterscotch? None of the good flavors. You have to rub peppermint and wintergreen between your dirty toes before they are even eatable.

How about Certs? Why the hell did they leave? I loved the spearmint and the cinnamon ones. I must have been the only person who did though. Candy cigarettes are gone and those little wax bottles of pop.

Toy guns! You can't even mention them. Any kind or any place. They are even outlawed in some states and all schools. No one can play cowboys and Indians or cops and robbers or my personal favorite. Nazis and Jews. If you put a play-dough Jew in an Easy-bake oven.... you will be arrested.

We used to have dart guns, cap guns, water guns, BB guns, spud guns and even bow and arrow sets that actually shot arrows. All with no safety goggles no helmets like retards wear that you see on bike riders today and I bet if you could find the statistics, not that many eyes were ever put out with any of them.

Taking them away was just an avenue to turn little boys into sissies so they would be more tolerant of all of the diversity and perversion that they are being trained to love. You can't teach a five year old with a six-shooter not to defend himself against bullshit. Especially if he has a cowboy hat and a stick horse to go with it.

Negro lawn jockeys are another thing that is gone. Hitler moustaches are REALLY gone.

Fake whitewalls for your car tires. Whitewall bicycle tires. Suicide knobs with almost nude ladies in them. Suicide doors on Lincolns. Suicide clutches on Harley-Davidsons. Spark adjusters on both cars and motorcycles. Hand chokes are another long gone item. Vacuum windshield wipers. AFB carburetors. Overdrive transmissions. Not like the fake ones they have today, but real overdrives. After market power steering kits. Or those cranks on the front to start the engines with.

On the big trucks you have lost brownie transmissions, compression releases and that little drop-down low air thingy above the sun visor. You also no longer have the application air pressure gauge, or pyrometers.

On equipment, International no longer builds that engine that started on gasoline and after it warmed up, you switched it to diesel. Nothing has a pony motor anymore. That was a small gasoline engine that you started to crank over the diesel engine to start it. John Deere no longer builds it's poppin' Johnny three cylinder engine. Nor the two cylinder engine that you started by spinning the flywheel with your hands.

In the home they no longer have the heaters that oil just dripped into dirt and the fire burned depending on how much oil there was to burn. The more oil, the bigger the fire. Also the clothes iron that ran on white gas. It had a little gas tank on the back of it and had a little burner inside to heat with. Or the flat irons that were heated by sitting them on the stove.

Or butter churns that were just a gallon jar with some wooden paddles and a crank on the lid. Or the cranking type of ice cream freezers. How about wringer washing machines? When they wore out a little, the wringer would jump up and spin around really fast and if there was a pair of wet Levis in there and they hit you, you took a painful beating and you had to catch hold of the damn thing and push down on it to stop it.

That is a few of the things that I remember from days gone by. I'm not saying everything in here was good, but then, again some of it was better than anything that we have now.

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