18 July 2010

DAMN RACISTS!

It appears to me that one of the newer laws of physics is; If you happen to be white, YOU Are a racist! No matter what extenuating circumstances you might have, you are still a racist. You were a racist when you were born. Time magazine had a feature article a while back proclaiming this. And we all know that they would never print a fabrication or an embellishment. Notice how I avoided calling them liars there? Since I am a racist and there might be a colored fellow working there, or maybe even a nig-nog. Far be it from me to want to make the poor fellows feel oppressed.

So after finding out that white people are racists when they are born... it certainly follows, for me at least, that if you put two white babies and a black baby in a playpen the white babies would play together, totally ignoring that they even had a black baby in there with them. While the black baby would sit there innocently wondering why he was being oppressed by these two evil racists.

Conversely, if you were to put two black babies in the playpen with one white baby it is only reasonable to assume that these two innocent little fellows would rob, rape, torture and probably kill the white baby because he is an evil oppressor that does not deserve to live! What do you think? Have I nailed it so far?

So there it is. That is why we are racists first and white second and no matter how much we pander, apologize and suck up to off colored people they are never going to like or forgive us. And they shouldn't because they know in our black hearts that we are still all racists. See? By writing "black heart" instead of "evil heart", I just proved my unforgivable racism. See how easy that is?

There are no other color of racists on the planet except white ones. The laws of physics do not allow for it. Just as they do not allow for white people to not be racists. If something like that ever happened... a white person was born who was not a racist.... it would cause a rip in the space time continuum and who knows what kind of calamity would result from that.

That's why when we are caught alone or with our girlfriends by a group of these black or brown people and they attack us and rob, rape torture and end up murdering us and putting us in a garbage can to rot, it deserves us right. Because we are evil oppressors and they are doing God's work for him. And the robbing and raping is just their payment for having to put themselves out to end our lives as horribly as possible. You can't expect them to do it for nothing. They probably were on their way to do something very important when we got in their way.

Besides that, our blood and brains probably stained some of their fancy clothes so now they will have to kick in someone's door so they can replace the clothes with new things and heaven knows whitey has a horrible taste in clothing so how many whitey doors have to be kicked in and the folks inside raped, robbed and tortured before they find the new fancy clothes they want? It will probably take all night and they are going to be exhausted before they are finished. And it is all our fault for getting in their way in the first place. See. It deserved me and my girlfriend right to end up in the garbage can.

Damn racists, anyway. We are thicker than fleas on a dog. I don't know how long it is going to take to rid the world of the pestilence that is us. Unless we would happen to invent some kind of racist DDT that those loving black and brown fellows could spray us with. But then that would take away from the fun of the "hands on" treatment that they are giving us now. Because I am sure that it is a lot more fulfilling to watch the life drain from a tortured racist's eyes from about six inches away than it is just to see us dead later with no raping or torture involved. That would just be.... disappointing.

All we can do, I guess. Is keep inventing luxuries to help placate them. Keep discovering cures for the horrible diseases that they get and opening up new frontiers for them to take over after we have gotten all of the dangers and bugs out of the place and hope someday that they can find it in their hearts to forgive us for our evil oppressive ways. Until then, we will just have to thank God that we are able to provide them with all of their creature comforts and a little pleasure and entertainment when they rape and torture us at the end of our lives.

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